Punny Costumes
Gathered from around the internet, particularly Pun Intended: Costumes with a Punch Line.
- Get a bunch of watches and tie them around your waist, like a belt. Waste of Time
- Pin a bunch of sponges to your clothes. Self-Absorbed
- Wear pale blue and pin cotton batting to it in random places. Carry a small spray bottle filled with water. Partly Cloudy With A Chance of Showers
- Wear all black and attach to your clothes things like chewed up gum, candy wrappers, popcorn, empty paper cups, etc. Floor of a Movie Theatre
- Go as a purple pumpkin. The Grape Pumpkin
- Attach stuffed dogs and cats to an umbrella. Raining Cats and Dogs
- Attach a P to your shirt and paint your eye black. Black-eyed Pea
- Attach 7 Cs to your shirt. (Or do it with 7 friends each wearing a C.) The Seven Seas.
- Don a pig mask, wrap yourself in a blanket. Pig in a Blanket
- Attach arms to a coat. Coat of Arms
- Attach fake hair to your arms, chest and neck, carry a flower pot filled with dirt and a little shovel. Hairy Potter
- Attach a bunch of (small) cereal boxes to your shirt with plastic knives stuck in them. Cereal Killer
- Wear a BIG band-aid on your butt. Pain in the Ass
- Attach a yellow circle to your stomach. Add some devil horns and a pitch fork. Deviled Egg
- Wear a gold outfit, gold accessories, gold hair, carry a shovel. Gold Digger
- Attach a dollar to each ear. Buck-an-Ear
- Strap a doll to your rear-end and sit on it. Babysitter
- Wear a brimmed cap with a leaf (or snowflake) dangling down in front of your face. When someone asks what you are, blow on the leaf (or snowflake). Leaf Blower or Snow Blower
- Carry a quarter and a hammer. If someone asks what your costume is, put the quarter down and pound it with the hammer. Quarter Pounder
- Attach a throw rug to your head. Carry a broom. Swept Under the Rug
- Drench yourself in water and carry around two sticks, a scarf and a carrot. Melted Snowman
- Cut out a large “1″. Cut a hole in the middle of the 1. Attach it to your chest. Hole in One
- Put “Hello my name is…” tags with random names all over your body. Multiple Personalities
- Attach a pack of Tic Tacs to the tip of your shoe. Tic Tac Toe
- Pin men’s underwear to your shirt front. Chest of Drawers
- Dress as a girl. Form a large arrow pointing up with safety pins. Pin Up Girl
- Wear all black, and attach a postage stamp to your chest. Black Mail
- Dress up as a present. Attach a tag that says “From: God, To: Women.” God’s Gift to Women
- Attach large labels that say “Shirt: $30…Jeans: $50…Shoes: $70……Halloween costume that took minimal effort: Priceless. Mastercard Ad
- Glue a poker chip to your shoulder. Chip on Your Shoulder
- Carry a toy aircraft in a basket. Aircraft Carrier
- Write “Go Ceilings!” on the front of your shirt. Add other gear (pom poms, big foam finger, etc.) Cheer! Ceiling Fan
- Tie a computer CD around your neck and carry a lighter. When someone asks what you are, hold the lighter up to the CD. CD burner
- Attach dollars to stars on your shirt (or make dollars into origami stars). Starbucks
- Attach a guitar pick to your pocket. Pick Pocket
- Attach pictures of Robert De Niro all over yourself. Mucho Dinero
- Dress as a man. Tape an “E” on your chest. “E”-male
- Carry fake eye balls. When someone asks you what Halloween costume you’re wearing, drop them on the floor. Eye Drops
- Wear buttons and carry signs that say “Devil is #1″ and “Vote for Satan,” etc.. Devil’s Advocate
- Write the number 3.1415926 on an orange pumpkin shape. Attach it to your shirt. Pumpkin Pie
- Attach some quarters to hairclips, and place in your hair. Headquarters
- Attach an empty M&M candy wrapper to your chest. Eminem the Rapper!
- Attach white trash to yourself. White Trash
- Carry several bags filled with construction paper “B”s. Bee Keeper
- Wear all black clothes. Cut out big, bright numbers and attach them to your clothes. Someone You Can Count On
- Tape a quarter to your back. Quarterback
- Attach a quarter to your back and a dollar to each ear. Quarter back for the Buckaneers
- Wear a nice suit. Attach legal documents all over yourself. Lawsuit
- Carry a stuffed dog. When someone asks about your costume, throw the dog up and catch it. Dog Catcher
- Wear a name tag that says “Susan.” Paint your eyes black. Black-eyed Susan
- Wear a bra on the outside of your shirt and attach the letter “Z” to it. Zebra
- Wear a name tag that says “Johnny”. Cut a circle out of cardboard or plastic, big enough to stand on. When someone asks you what you are, throw the circle on the floor and stand on it. Johnny on the Spot
- Attach a large brown “E” to your chest. Brown-E (Brownie)
- Take two round circles of brown fake fur and attach them to the back of your pants.. “Bear” Bum!
- Attach an empty bag of Wise potato chips to the back of your pants. Wise Ass
- Tape a disposable razor to your back. Razorback
- Wear pink clothes. Add a name tag that says “Floyd.” Pink Floyd
- Dress in normal clothes and carry a sign that says “Strike.” Nudist on Strike
- Attach a nickel to your back. Nickelback
- Wear a large garbage bag over your body. Attach a large letter “T” to the front. Tea Bag
- Make the letter “I” out of cardboard, write “Beauty” on it, and attach it to your shirt. Carry a beer. Beauty is in the Eye of the Beerholder
- Wear a pot on your head. Pot Head
- Put a picture frame around your neck and sign your shirt. Self Portrait
- Carry a small dumbbell. Stare at it intently when asked what you are. Weight Watcher
- Attach a large picture of yourself to the front of your shirt. “Stuck on Myself”
- Wear an extra-large bra over your clothes. Stuff it with jars of spices. Spice Rack
- Attach Smarties candies all over your pants. Smarty Pants
- Dress up as a bug and a lady. Lady Bug
- Attach stuffed animals (and horseshoe magnets) to yourself. Animal Magnetism
- Attach chicks to yourself. Chick Magnet
- Wear a slip with Freud written across the front. Freudian Slip
- Dress as a basketball player. Wear 2 large donuts around your middle. (Even better with 2 people, each wearing a donut.) Dunkin’ Donuts
- Put peas or peapods all over you. “I Come in Peace.”
- Color your neck red. Redneck
- Dress as a bunny and carry a feather duster. Dust Bunny
- Dress as monk and carry chips. Chipmunk
- Attach a bunch of green Ns and Vs all over you. Green with Envy
- Wear scrubs with pepper packets attached. Dr. Pepper
- Dress as a cat. Attach trash you’d find on the street. Kitty Litter
- Dress in black. Attach a strip of yellow tape from right shoulder to right ankle and left shoulder to left ankle. (And a dotted line down the middle if you wish.) Attach a fork to your chest. Fork in the Road
- Dress as a star made out of “rock”. Rock Star
- Dress in a somber suit, attach women’s panties, tucked into pockets. “Undy Taker.”
- Dress as a bat or Batman. Carry a customer service bell. Ding Bat
- Write “Bless You” on your shirt. Wear nose glasses. Blessing in Disguise
- Attach fake thumbs to all your fingers. All Thumbs
- Attach a picture of an anchor to your chest. Anchorman or Anchorwoman
- Drag a picture of the Queen of England or a Queen CD. Drag Queen
- Paint your face white and draw a musical staff and notes on it. Face the Music
- Attach a chick (or picture of a chick) to your hip. Hip Chick
- Dress in shades of green. Attach a bottle of dressing to your side. Mixed Greens with Dressing on the Side
- Attach a pink I to your chest. Pink Eye
- Carry knives, splash yourself with fake blood. Attach a B to your chest. Killer Bee
- Drip fake blood on yourself. Wear a “Mary” name tag. Bloody Mary
- Wear hospital scrubs, under a brown hooded cloak, carry a light saber and a speculum. OB-GYN Kenobi
- Wear an orange toga with a laurel crown. Orange Julius
- Wear bat wings with a baseball uniform. Baseball Bat
- One half of the couple wears an army shirt, and the other half wears army pants. Digestive Tract (upper and lower GI)
- Wear nerdy glasses, a toga, and a pocket protector. Geek Goddess
- Pin socks all over your normal clothes and SMILE. When people ask, flash a manic grin. Ecstatic Cling
- Cut out many pictures of porpoises. Fan them out around your face with a headscarf. All Porpoise Flower
- Get a Scott Baio mask or print out a picture of his face. Dress as a wolf. Beowolf
- Guy dressed in a maid’s costume. Trans-janitor
- Dress as a bee. Attach words to you. When people ask, spell the words. Spelling Bee
- Wear a trench coat. Inside attach lots of flowers. When people ask, look around as though being secretive then flash open the coat. The Secret Garden
- Dress as Gene Simmons of Kiss with a French beret. French Kiss
- Dress as a skeleton. Carry a bell. Dead Ringer
- Hang a Welcome sign around your neck. Wearing Out Your Welcome
- Carry Zs around in a fish or butterfly net. Catching Some Zs
- Dress as a poop with angel wings. Holy Shit
- Dress up as a cow (horns, bell, udder) and angel wings and halo. Holy Cow!
- Wear normal clothing and tell everyone, “I’m a homicidal maniac. We look just like everyone else.”















Rather than project forward, have a favorite character (yours or someone else’s, good guy or bad guy) reflect back on what they did right last year.
Write a holiday or seasonal story using one of the following sets of objects:
Use as many of the following words as you can in a piece (story, song, poem or whatever you come up with!) that isn’t about winter or the holidays.

Come up with a list of news releases or reports for April Fool’s Day that sound believable enough to be true. Some examples:
Write a love letter containing one or more of the following. Is the sender serious and think his compliments will be well received? Does the recipient appreciate them?

One great technique for upping the all important word count for 

Create hot and humid phrases or sentences for each letter of the alphabet.